To you brides in the thick of planning multiple weddings… I was there! For six months, I lived in your shoes, and today this wedding-photographer-plus-double-wedding-bride has f i v e points of encouragement for you!

1. You’re not crazy. This IS a unique, unmatched time and potentially the most multitasked, multi-asked season of your life. Everyone needs your answers and opinions… x2 (or more!) It is intrinsically hard to be a normal person planning one wedding, much less several days in a row of wedding festivities! I see you and feel for you!

2. Know this season will not be forever, and learn to rest when you might want to quit. Putting boundaries around wedding tasks might feel impossible, but for your own sleep and sanity, have a clear cut off time where the research, the email responses, and the phone gets turned off. Whether it be for a few hours during the day or a strict 8pm stop time at night, know that your brain, your body, and your relationships will be served by knowing when to put it all on pause to stop and smell the roses.

3. Tell friends what you need in this season. Maybe it’s a girls’ night out or just frequent random texts saying, “Hang in there, it will all be worth it, praying for you!” or spontaneous Starbucks blessings… don’t be afraid to communicate instead of disappear with friends who truly care about you and want to help.

4. Try not to bite or break down and cry with all the people who say, “Don’t worry about the details, don’t be so stressed!!” Most people mean well by these comments, but come across as insensitive and dismissive to how hard it is to be the bride, the main person everyone is coming to, in these celebrations. I had phenomenal wedding planners and people STILL needed things from me the most. In addition, those of us planning double-weddings are often navigating cross-cultural dynamics and expectations where there is great significance to respecting parents’ roles, cultural traditions, more family members’ involvement in the ceremonies, and all blended together by differing communication styles! And sometimes, all that is met with the added weight of adversity and disapproval to the union of you and your groom in the first place! So, just smile and wave to those “don’t be so stressed by all the planning!” people, and know your role and this season is unique, and the reality is, people won’t get it unless they’ve walked through it.

5. Know that it WILL be worth it!!! Every minute of planning was worth it when my Nigerian-American wedding weekend came to fruition and both our cultures got to be celebrated in the best weekend ever. I promise you, no matter what people tell you, the details do matter when it all comes together to be the sweetest kickoff your marriage could ask for!

(Two above photos by Dani White Photography!)